exhausted

Exhausted, yes, I think that's the word that best described myself in the past few days.. I'm exhausted with all the commitments I took, everything seems to be piling up higher and higher and I couldn't even see an end to all of those. Once I wished that I could have all the time in the world, time to relax, read a book, play guitar, sing, and perhaps have an outing somewhere to a nice place, do things that I like to do.

Even, I am exhausted with all the ministries which I took. Sad, isn't it? You are doing something for God, yet you're exhausted. A paradox? What a terrible state I am right now. Human, fragile.. Human, helpless.. Human, nothing..

What went wrong? A friend of mine told me, perhaps it's because you rely too much on yourself. "Do not rely too much on self, but rely on God" something that we as a Christian perhaps hear again and again and again...

I once told a friend of mine, "Pray, in everything, in every struggle that you are facing, pray, in every thing that you do, pray, and bring yourself nearer to God. Pray, so that God leads your way. Pray, so that God shows you what you should do. Pray, and pray..."

I tried to remember, have I prayed about all the ministries which I took, in the church, in the university's fellowship? No.. not really.. Yes, I actually never bring all of these commitments to God, and let everything done with my own prowness, a futile attempt, sadly... I didn't really rely on God in the first place. So, please help me God.